As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42

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People often use this passage to contrast the importance of spending time with Jesus instead of focusing on tasks. It is an excellent illustration of the importance of presence with God, as opposed to simply working for God.  What many people don’t realize is that this passage is also about breaking social norms. 

In the Hebrew culture of Jesus’ day, men and women generally did not mix in social settings except for women to wait on the men. Even more outside the realm of cultural norms was a woman sitting at the feet of and learning from a rabbi. Becoming a Rabbi’s disciple was reserved exclusively for men. When Martha goes to Jesus to ask about her sister’s behavior, we have every reason to believe that she fully expects him to support her perspective. But he didn’t. Jesus’ reply to Martha, that Mary’s proximity to him and her desire to learn from him as a disciple was better than her fulfilling the tasks expected of women in that day, would have been completely countercultural. 

So does that mean social norms are bad? Not at all. What it does mean, however, is that we need to hold them with the right weight. As we see in this passage, there are also cultural norms about what it means to be men and women today. Usually, norms exist for a reason, and we have agency and permission to be curious about those reasons. We need to be careful about confusing societal and even Christian cultural norms with the heart of Jesus. 

Jesus perfectly balances a life of grace and truth. He demonstrates a life with a preference for presence and intimate relationships over maintaining rules and dogmatic living. He engages with people who are living in a manner contrary to the religious expectations of the day. Why?  So that those people can know and experience his deep love for them before he invites them into a pursuit of holiness. The same is true for each of us today as we imitate our lives after Him. 

Next Steps

As we learned more about womanhood and manhood in last Sunday’s teaching, consider what social norms about gender may be getting in the way of you drawing close to people who are different than you. For example, if a male is wearing nail polish or a woman has shaved her head, do your eyes judge them, or do you engage them in conversation?

One of the best ways to move toward people who are different from you is to engage in regular rhythms of prayer. Join us tomorrow as our whole church is invited to participate in corporate prayer at the All Church Prayer Gathering, hosted at South Lake and Huntley.