You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
Psalm 139: 1-4

 “Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered…” 
Luke 12:7  

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There was a season when my teenage son was very ill and I struggled with God as a result. I never lost faith in His divinity or my eternal home with Him, but I decided that He was not involved in the everyday details I had previously thought. I figured He promised heaven, and we were on our own until then. The greatest difficulty was losing my own identity. So much of who I was  was tied to how I viewed God. I was floundering but still talking, sometimes railing, against God.  

One of the turning points happened at the end of August that year. Before returning to school as a teacher, I felt motivated to pray for a colleague. This was unusual. We were friendly but not particularly close. I mentioned it to her in the hallway one day and  she asked me which day I prayed. When I told her, she shared that was the date her husband underwent major surgery. Then she told me she challenged God to show her “one good thing” that came out of this health mess with her husband. My prayer was it. I told her about my struggle with God and explained that hearing this from her was a major breakthrough for me. I could finally see again that God really is intimately involved in the details. 

Since then, I talk to God constantly, mostly about the things that, back then, I didn’t think he cared about. He has brought me full circle. Now, I never question that God cares about every part of my life. I am reminded of Luke 12:7.  Most of us do not know how many strands of hair we have on our heads. But God does—each strand is numbered. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

I encourage you to reach out to God with any struggle you have in seeing His true nature. Mark 9:24 comes to mind, “…I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Next Steps 

Pray this with me: Lord, help us all to see you correctly. Help us know your personality and understand your character better. We are all prejudiced by experiences that may lead us astray from your true nature.  As much as our human minds and souls can handle, show us your glory.  The better we know you, the better we can love and serve you.