“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27

---

Do you like to be warned about pending danger? I do. While hiking in Glacier National Park, I glimpsed a prominent sign warning that we were about to go on a hike riddled with grizzly bears. Yikes, we were in scary bear territory. While I wanted to hightail it out of there, my husband Dave wanted to risk it. 

Before I was married, my mother-in-law, who was well acquainted with her son, mentioned some excellent biblical advice: “When you are in a spat with David, don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” In other words, talk about the reason for your anger and make peace before you lay your head on your separate pillows. 

That day on the trail, I had a conflict with Dave—he wanted the adventure, and I was petrified. Resolving conflicts is not a part of my DNA. Instead, I always prefer to run—as I did that day on the trail.

In Ephesians, God’s wisdom warns us to talk out our conflicts and resolve them promptly. He knows the longer we wait, the more troubled our relationship becomes. Anger quickly becomes a mountain that gets harder and harder to climb. 

God knows that conflict is inevitable between family, friends, and neighbors worldwide. And He also knew we would feel conflict with Him. I hate admitting it, but I have been angry with God—it feels almost sacrilegious to type these words.

However, I also know that God wants me to tell Him why I’m angry and then for me to listen to what He says. Just this week, I was angry because of my many visits to the doctor and the myriad of tests I’ve been navigating, and I took it out on Him.

Do you know what He said back to me? I never promised you a fairytale life, Nancy, but today, I’m reminding you that I am with you always. And then He joked with me a bit; I’ve taught you this before.

And He has. But it has been a relatively recent revelation that I can be angry with God and talk to Him in that state. As I talk, God listens, I listen, and usually, an unexplainable peace fills my being.

Next Steps

Access the Holy Spirit’s guidance while your anger simmers. If it is a person or God that you are upset with, use “I feel” statements. It’s also good to make peace quickly because Satan loves to exploit resentment to make us bitter and hate-filled. I love Talking to Jesus!