Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail.  But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.” His speech persuaded them. They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.
Acts 5:38-40

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We all know a difficult person we desperately wish would change. It is tempting to think our lives would be better if they would just behave differently. So, we try to control them with shame, blame, anger, or people-pleasing. However, if we tie our well-being to another person’s behavior, we give them power over our contentment. We must accept that some people will not be who we want them to be, no matter how much we push them. We begin to recognize our powerlessness to change others by answering two questions: Are my efforts to care for myself by controlling this person working? Is this my problem to solve?

In today’s passage, the Sadducees were jealous of the crowds the apostles drew. They desperately wanted the apostles to stop spreading the gospel, so they attempted to exert control by jailing them. When that did not work, they considered executing them (the ultimate act of control). However, the Pharisee Gamaliel had a better idea. His suggestion was the equivalent of asking, “Is this your problem to solve?” and “Will your plan work?” Gamaliel urged the Sadducees to step back and let God handle the situation according to His will. Otherwise, they might find themselves fighting against Him. Gamaliel’s counsel influenced the Sadducees enough that they spared the apostles’ lives, allowing them to go with a beating and a warning.

I have learned the power of acceptance and adjusting my expectations. A profound sense of relief comes when I stop denying reality and accept my inability to change a difficult person. At first, it felt like I was giving up my power, but then I realized I was taking it back. I am improving at letting others be responsible for themselves and turning the situation over to God. When I “let go and let God,” I care for my emotional well-being more effectively. I do not condone bad behavior or tolerate mistreatment. I do express my disappointment and anger without returning to my old patterns. Even when the results of letting go are not what I hoped for, I breathe easier because my contentment is not dependent on an unreliable person. Accepting what I cannot change and trusting God brings serenity. 

Next Steps

If today’s topic resonates with you, try The Serenity Prayer, which has helped countless people practice acceptance:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that You will make all things right
if I surrender to Your will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.