But Naaman went away angry and said, “I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy. Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Couldn’t I wash in them and be cleansed?” So he turned and went off in a rage.

Naaman’s servants went to him and said, “My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, ‘Wash and be cleansed’!” So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy.

2 Kings 5:11-14

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It’s easy to join in with someone who is angry. Opting to vent and commiserate with them certainly does this. But you don’t have to actively take their side or say anything to add fuel to the fire. When someone is angry, we can miscommunicate agreement by standing by as they rage, all the while withholding an alternate perspective. It’s in moments like these, when a fuming person can’t see clearly, that God may ask us to choose to diffuse.

To say Namaan was angry is an understatement. This ailing decorated war hero humbly heeded a young girl’s advice, reached out to his nation’s king, and traveled to a foreign land for trial medical help. After almost triggering another international conflict, Namaan is shocked that the one person who might be able to heal him won’t take five minutes to meet. And the little advice the prophet Elisha does send sounds stupid, if not disrespectful. If you or I were Namaan, we would be incensed too.

I am sure you’ve been around someone whose amygdala hijacked their common sense. Despite his track record as being wise, Namaan couldn’t process this situation without outside wisdom. His servants could have cowered, but instead, they spoke up. They appealed to Namaan’s strong character, called out his typically inspiring courage, and persuaded him to take a risk (even if it seemed ridiculous!). Because the servants took steps to diffuse, Namaan’s body was healed, God got all the credit, and word spread far and wide.

When someone we care about is too angry to make wise choices, you and I can choose to diffuse. Start by listening and letting them vent without adding fuel to the fire. Prayerfully seek wisdom from God in the moment. Then, when the time is right, speak up courageously so they can see a wiser way forward.

Next Steps

Do you tend to join in or hide when someone around you gets angry? Knowing how you usually respond can help you take steps to choose to diffuse. As you consider the conflict around you, how can you practice today’s devotion with someone you love?