Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Now Cain said to his brother Abel, ”Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
Genesis 4:6-8 

For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous.
1 John 3:11-12  

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My human curiosity wants to know what happened in that field right before Abel’s death. God speaks directly to Cain. Cain invites his brother to the field. Abel appears to go willingly, and then, “while they were in the field,” Cain kills Abel. If this were a movie, this skipped-over moment would be a pivotal scene. We are told Cain was angry and downcast. Did Cain simply want to blow off steam, and things went sideways, or was the killing premeditated? Was Abel comforting or arrogant or immediately fighting for his life? God speaks directly to Cain with a second-chance demeanor. Do the right thing, and it will be accepted. The next thing we know, he is killing his brother.

I find it so much easier to blame and be angry than to be gracious and set aside my ego. My anger does not play out overtly. I avoid conflict. Instead, I rehearse a conversation in my head where I come out as the hero or am sympathized with as the victim. Neither is healthy. Grudges, passive-aggressive behavior, or the silent treatment are just as damaging to relationships as the outbursts. 

The Bible tells us what is wise. This is God speaking directly to us. Do we humble ourselves before the God of all creation and restore relationships, or do we storm off to do more damage because it feels good at the moment?

Imagine Abel moving towards his brother in love and not avoiding the storm. Imagine Cain swallowing his pride and saying to Able, “I’m happy for you, brother. Help me learn how to please God as well.” Then Cain would have been forever remembered in the Bible as the brother who changed his evil, jealous ways and demonstrated God’s love.

Next Steps

“When you are angry, first ask yourself, “What was my contribution to the situation?” Then, you will be in a better place to handle conflict. Perhaps the next step today is to stop living in your anger. That grudge you thought you let go of, are you still rehashing the scenario with you as a hero or a victim? Start in your mind by reframing the person on the other side as God’s image bearer.