A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

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My caravan pulled around the stalled traffic on the expressway entrance ramp onto the shoulder. It was clear. I saw no reason to stop. POP! POP! The fists of an angry policeman on foot were hammering the side panel of my car. In just a moment, I saw a blue uniform in my large sideview mirror and a Chicago police officer standing between cars.

While he motioned traffic around him with one hand, his other hand rested on the side of my car as if to hold me there. Fast, bullet-like words shot from his mouth. His red face commanded that I lower my window. “Where do you think you are going?” I looked away, “Sorry, I didn’t see you.” Honking horns grew louder. He threw his arms up in the air and gave me a signal. “Get out of here!” I did.

At that time, I had never heard of Proverbs 15:1,  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Yes, my answer was gentle, and it did redirect his wrath. But in truth, I was too afraid to say anything else. Besides, it wasn’t just Proverbs 15 I had not heard of, I really had never paid much attention to the whole book of Proverbs.

Just the other day, while driving our neighborhood streets, despite filing through memories, I couldn’t recall any situation in which I had faced an angry person other than that one. Just then, a black hatchback started riding my rear bumper. The driver made the move to pass me, straddling my lane and half the left turn lane. I kept my speed but held my lane. Then the oncoming light turned red where I was turning off. The driver of the car could have pulled up next to me and given me a mouthful through his window, but he didn’t. He stayed about four cars back. I wondered if sometimes a gentle answer is simply keeping your distance and not provoking a situation. 

By choosing to stay a few cars back and not pulling up alongside me, they helped diffuse a possible situation. Two miffed drivers, both choosing gentle answers by the way they drove their cars after getting frustrated at each other.  Each turned away the wrath of the other. We steered away with nonverbal gentle answers.

Next Steps

What non-verbal ways are there to diffuse angry outbreaks in tense situations where personal communication is not possible or limited? Think of something that might work when texting, when reading social media comments, or at social events. Frame your answers in light of Proverbs 15:1.