But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”
Jonah 4:9-11

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This week, we are looking at ways to navigate relationships with complicated people. Most parents agree there are times when teenagers fall into that category. When my kids were teens, I felt as though I banged my head against the wall enough to learn the value of asking good questions instead of hastily spouting my opinions. After listening to their side, I asked my kids probing questions to cultivate compassion in them. Curiosity proved more effective than telling them what to think or do. Some examples are: “What do you think that felt like to the person you are angry at?” and “How do you think they would describe the situation?” I would also remind my kids how they felt in certain situations and ask if the other person might feel the same way. Even if your complicated person stays silent, questions are more likely to get through to them than judgments.

Jonah was a complicated person. He was a defiant and stubborn prophet. He had ideas about who deserved God’s kindness and who did not. Jonah did not want God to forgive the wicked Ninevites. He could not bear to be the prophet who brought the message of repentance to them, so instead of accepting his mission, Jonah ran away from God. It did not take long to discover there was nowhere to hide. Trapped in the belly of a whale, Jonah relented. After being spit up on the shore, he went to Nineveh and announced they had forty days to repent or God would destroy them. The Ninevites repented, and as Jonah had feared, God showed them compassion.

Though Jonah obeyed, his heart was not in it. He steamed with resentment to the point he felt he was better off dead. Like a parent addressing a melodramatic teen, God asked him, “Is it right for you to be angry?” Jonah did not reply. So, God grew a plant to help him understand. Jonah was happy about the shade the plant provided. However, he returned to his resentful state when God caused the plant to die.

Once again, God prodded Jonah with a question, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” Unwilling to budge, Jonah restated he was angry enough to die. Then, God used the plant as a metaphor for Nineveh. God pointed out Jonah had no part in creating the plant but still cared about it. So, why wouldn’t God have compassion for the people He created?

The story ends there. We do not know if Jonah repented of his arrogance and hard-heartedness. God’s question is left hanging for us to ponder: Who is our Nineveh? Is it our complicated person? If God has compassion for them, shouldn’t we? 

Next Steps

If you know a complicated person, reflect on your typical reactions to them. Pray for the ability to see them through God’s compassionate eyes. Then, consider what questions might get them thinking.

Consider listening to this song by Brooke Ligertwood called Ninevah.