Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.  
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

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When I was 15 years old, I was reflecting on a three-day revival at my church—a powerful outpouring of southern gospel worship, preaching, prayer, and eating together. In the quiet space of my room, with no one else around, I remember realizing for the first time that I wanted to obey God because I loved Him and wanted to serve Him out of a well of gratitude for Him saving me, not out of fear of the consequences of my unbelief. I confessed my sin and professed my love for God in a new way that night. The elation and freedom I felt in that moment was something I had never felt before nor have I since. I actually said out loud, “I’m ready to be in Heaven today.” I wasn’t afraid. I prayed that I would always feel that way no matter what.

The feeling of being unafraid and untethered to this world only lasted a moment. The very next week I was struggling in my circumstances again and back to being in need, being afraid, and holding expectations for God to help me.

It was a hard lesson: God can do anything, but it doesn’t mean that He will. I believe our physical prosperity—good feelings, wealth, health, circumstances—is not always an outcome when we choose to follow Jesus. As the years went on, I lost people, lost relationships, battled financial struggles, and faced some of my own and those I loved health diagnoses. But I can look back on it all to see God’s provision even though it wasn’t always what I hoped for or planned. I ended up in places and situations I never would have chosen if I hadn’t had challenges that moved me. And yet I ended up right where I was supposed to be. He’s faithful, not predictable.

Joshua 1:9 (NLT) says, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Do I always feel strong and brave? Nope. Do I always feel like I understand why? Nope. But deep down, I know I will always love God and choose to believe He is for me and with me. Not always physical prosperity but a lifetime of spiritual prosperity. 

Next Steps

• Reflect on the challenges you’ve faced in your life. Can you see God’s provision?
• If you’re in the middle of a challenge, I encourage you to hold steady if you can, and as you pray for what you need most, also pray that God’s will for your life becomes clear.
• It takes an incredible amount of trust to put the most precious parts of your life in God’s hands. He is faithful. This old song, He’s Always Been Faithful, got me through one of the hardest losses, and lately, the song Goodness of God, reminds me that He’s still getting me through. I hope they lift you up too.